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Thoughts




You know when you meet someone and you start to like each other and then that turns into something beautiful known as love to most people? Yeah.. That's a great feeling don't you think? You would love to just feel that all day long and sleep with a smile on your face, waking up knowing 'Wow I have something to look forward to now'. You could barely hide that smile on your face that you just gotta wear it all the time. Sleep becomes so deprived because finally reality is much better than your dreams. Food becomes just another option because love fills you in all the time. Time froze as you're with the person you love making it just another aspect to ignore.

You wouldn't ever want to lose that feeling. You would just want to keep it all to yourself and share it with your significant other for the rest of your life if ever possible. You get so paranoid of losing something so fulfilling that you turn into a green monster. You ignore all the hurt you feel just to make the other person happy. You care about them in so many ways that there's just no way in hell you could ever fit all that in a list. In conclusion, love makes you do idiotic, stupid things. Come on, think about it. Doing all these so called kind-mother-Theresa-way-of-life and getting your heart shattered into pieces, you're not gonna think of it as some idiotic act? I do. But, when it comes to love, everything could become an exception. So idiocy could become something smart. 

LOVE. 
Such a questionable word. Such a complicated word yet understood by all. It never really makes sense. It just.. Happens. It's sad how you can be so ecstatic as you fall in love and later on, turn into a sadistic person as the love falls away. Lovers turn to strangers. That's the shit I don't like. How could something so amazing just change its course into something so gruesome? I've seen so many people hurt from the act of loving. Love is being abused all around the world. People blame love for being hurt, depressed, lonely, etc. But it's not love. It's people. They have no idea how to love in the right way. Guys use love as an excuse to get into a girl's pants. Girls use love to manipulate guys into giving them things. Both are equally bad and there's just more to it than what I just said. Love is used in so many different ways that even the most philosophical man in the world could never comprehend how many ways it could go.

I've been there. In fact, it's happened to me recently. The 'over' in 'forever' finally happened. Lovers change: they cheat, they lie, they deceive and most of all, they hurt. After a whole year of confusion, it's finally come down to this. We're not meant to be. Distance could have been the big impact but I doubt it is. It is said that distance don't ruin a relationship, doubts do. And that's what happened to us. Doubts. 

No way am I ever gonna let someone in so deep inside my heart ever again. At least until I'm sure he's the one and that he's sincere in all of the things he's doing. I admit it, I'm a relationship person. I love to be with someone. Someone special. But if I would just get hurt all the time, what's the fucking point? Being lonely sucks, but at least I save myself from heartbreak. Think about it, your brain should win over your heart sometimes.