haven't been strong. I haven't been happy. I'm just a big huge wreck at the moment. I had something but I trade it away by ego. I made all the source of my happiness flutter away and catching them back will not be easy. I've tried, really I have. It's been almost a month now, things are still devastating. I'm trying to get back on my feet but it ain't easy when you have to pretend like everything is A-okay. No one knows how hard this is for me. No one will ever know how bad this is making me suffer. Because, simply, what I felt for him was extraordinarily huge. He just doesn't see it. I make mistakes, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. Me, I, myself being a normal imperfect human being will surely have stupid mistakes in my life but hey! Who gives a fuck right? It doesn't matter, I screwed up. I guess 'apology accepted' isn't on his mind right now, or anytime soon.. Who knows. All I know is that the hope I planted in is slowly growing and slowly demolishing. What should I believe in when the dark side and the bright side is on the same level? Should I keep holding on or just let it go? Will this all be worth it at the end or would it just be a wreck of the day?